Was it all my fault??

"I wonder if all of this was really my fault. I mean, I do have a foul mouth and can say things that feels like your bones are being cut with a chainsaw. Does that mean I deserved the physical abuse? I do know that a man's ego is suppose to be stroked in order for them to feel appreciated, respected and wanted but how was I suppose to know that at the age of 18 and coming from a background of violence. Either way, respect is given when respect is due. Since I didn't have that much respect men, does that mean I caused the abuse?" Thoughts of my character, Micheala Davis